NRG vs WHR Bout Report: Twas brill! The slithy toe-stops did veer and bimble on the track

Derby HAB, The Urbane Fox is back to give us his take on NRG’s latest home bout against Wolverhampton Honour Rollers. Photos courtesy of Dave Parry at

“Beware the Jammer-Block, my girl!
The hips that fight, the wheels that catch!
Beware that terrifying bird, and hurl
Her to avoid losing match”

Now I know that Lewis Carroll is probably spinning in his grave at speeds that warrant an investigation into the use of “outrage” as a renewable energy source.  However, “Jammer-blocky” isn’t a bad name for a strategy that saw Team NRG speed up the pace of the game by mixing players who’d traditionally been in jamming roles amongst the blocking pack… and it’s a REALLY good pun.


From the very start it looked like a good game. Both teams had strong defensive walls that gave jammers from both sides a hard time.  Excellent blocking was a common theme throughout a relatively low scoring match.  At jam 13 the scores were still a nail-biting 45-41 to the home team.  But the signs for an NRG win were there. There were a number of occasions when WHR took lead jammer only to be chased down or blocked so effectively, that they called off a low-scoring jam.  That sort of determination gave us the edge in a game that was looking to be incredibly close. Honorable (see what I did there?) mentions to Pushy Cat Doll and Belle E Dancer who were a constant menace.

As the game moved towards half time you’d be forgiven for forgetting which NRG players were blockers and which were jammers. Damndrea had already de-tracked a couple of the Wolverhampton wall in jam 4, but jam16 saw Pushy Cat Doll’s lead jammer role come to a pointless end after Louisey Rider caught up and violently introduced her to the floor.  The speed and dynamism of the NRG blockers added to the confusion with jams 17 and 18 being particularly impressive as The Atkins Riot and Feartrix Rotter respectively commanding dynamic walls that kept the opposition’s heads spinning.  Jam 21 was probably my favorite of the game as it saw Hell ‘n’ Back in the pack, helping Damndrea through the wall and Cherry Revenge, and The Atkins Riot tag teaming Pushy Cat Doll and preventing her even having an initial pass.  It was like a scene from Block Hawk Down.  A points heist worthy of Block Stock and Two Smoking Barrels.  They were stuck between a block and a hard place.  They were drowning in Block Lomond.  Sorry, got carried away.


At half time I was so excited about the 82-60 scoreline that I’d completely forgotten that this coherent, functioning NRG team had such a huge range of experience.  It was even Dellar Artois’ first match, but the team looked like a veteran, consistent pack.  They were like Pack Man.  Packing Crispy Duck… right, last one I promise.

The second half started well and it was great to see the jammers and blockers communicating so effectively.  A highlight of the second half was jam 26 when Hell ‘n’ Back’s “Blamming” repeatedly left members of the WHR wall on the floor whilst The Atkins Riot and Sinn Fiend paired up to limit Pushy Cat Doll’s score to 2 points (vs Hell ‘n’ Back’s 30!)  I hadn’t seen a jam like it since Jimi Hendrix got into a tight spot due to queuing traffic outside the Hartley’s factory.  They did serious jamage. It was a scoring a jamboree.  NRG were like sparkly jampires.  The Jamson 5. OK I’m done now – it’s out of my system.


Now I’ve focused so far on dynamic walls and people pairing up, but I shouldn’t forget some of the big hits of the game.  Gem Aargh played a blinder and was knocking people off track all over the place and Doodlebug dropped the bomb hard.  The second half was home to jam 33, the second jam of the day where the WHR jammer didn’t complete their initial pass.   Cherry Revenge, Feartrix Rotter, Doodlebug and Jo B-Wan Kenobi formed an impenetrable wall for Caztastrophe allowing Damndrea to grab 25 points.

Again – the WHR blocking was tough and jam 36 saw Hell ‘n’ Back on the receiving end of some punishing hits from Oppress-Her, but she picked herself up and a power jam courtesy of Twisted Firecarter’s cut track, saw her add another 17 point jam to the tally.

The final jam saw Louisey Rider up against Belle E Dancer and with a 94 point score difference you’d have forgiven the WHR girls for not giving it their all.  But they were far from beaten.  The blocking from both sides was superb and WHR’s Twisted Firecarter landed two massive hits on Louisey Rider sending her first into a wall and secondly into a cheering crowd.  Belle E Dancer eventually managed to break free to claim lead jammer, and score a solid 4 points, leaving the final scores at 229-138.

Brilliant plays by both teams and a great match for the spectators.  Beware the Jammer-Block!


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